


Synesthesia

by zestydevil



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Synesthesia, Synesthetic Tony Stark, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 00:59:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16713514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zestydevil/pseuds/zestydevil
Summary: He’s twenty-two when he first heard the word. Synesthesia.





	Synesthesia

**Author's Note:**

> It is late and this is unbeta-ed. This is also very much shorter than I intended. Rip.
> 
> My tumblr is yellow-n-buzzy

He’s six when he tells his mother that her voice is a lovely shade of red. She asks why and he says it reminds him of the lipstick she wears and the roses on her vanity. She laughs and says thank you. That night she wears a long vermillion dress. He tells Jarvis his voice is a cerulean. He talks about how he’ll look at the sky and he can he only think of him. His father’s voice is a baby pink, yet he would never dare say it to his face.

He’s eight when he enters boarding school. It’s so lonely. He hates it. The colors when he’s at the cafeteria are overwhelming. He can’t distinguish what color is where, it’s everywhere, _everywhere_. So many blues, and oranges, and pinks they blend into an overwhelming mess. He spends his lunch in the library from then on. He thinks about telling the teacher about the colors, but then she might tell his father.

He’s eleven when his roommate found out. He and his friends make fun of him relentlessly. Call him names, call him crazy and freak, and he tells the teacher finally, but she doesn’t do anything. He starts to resent the colors.

He’s sixteen when he meets James. Not entirely sober, not entirely drunk, he falls asleep on him one night at party. For whatever reason he’s two drunk to say James, but not Rhodey. The name sticks. Something about it is welcoming and safe. He says his name out loud as much as possible, as it tastes exactly like Jarvis’ apple crisp. Rhodey’s voice is a dark royal purple, somehow it matches his personality. He stops resenting the colors.

He’s seventeen when he first hears AC/DC. It’s the kind of music that’s so blue, like someone took blue paint and put it everywhere. He’s never heard anything so...blue. He buys all their albums and enjoys listening to the blue of the music.

He’s nineteen when he drinks for the first time. He was numb already, it makes him even number. It’s not a pleasant feeling, the absent of color. Rhodey’s there to comfort him. He can’t hear any purple when he talks. Rhodey’s only slightly confused when he tells him there’s no purple. 

He’s twenty-two when he first heard the word. Synesthesia. Someone mentions it in a conversation. He says the word out loud and all he can taste is ice cream. The word screams shades of purple and blue and yellow and something is telling him he has that. It makes him feel more complete, knowing there’s a word for it.

He’s twenty-six when he meets Virginia Potts. She goes from a secretary to his personal assistant in less then five minutes. Pepper, she tells him. He says it out loud and it tastes like strawberries. Fitting, for her bright red voice. Everything about her is red. Strawberries, fire trucks, cherries, rubies, red lipstick, she just screams all these shades of red. 

He’s thirty-two when he tried to explain it to Pepper. He gets halfway through about how her voice is this _beautiful_ shade of red. How her name tastes like strawberry. When she rolls her eyes and tells him to stop flirting, it doesn’t hurt. That’s what he tells himself, at least.

He’s thirty-two when he tried alcohol for the second time. He did not miss the absence of color, but something about the numbness feels refreshing. Not caring about the world is a feeling he missed. The next morning he’s drank six bottles. The hangover he didn’t miss.

He’s thirty-six when he gets a car battery in his heart. He wants to scream while it’s happening but the soft yellow voice gets him through it. He wakes up and meets Yinsen. Yinsen is yellow, but he’s also so much more. Pumpkin oranges, lilac purples, watermelon greeen, it almost feels like to much. He knows he’ll miss the colors when he’s out in the desert, in that goddamn suit.

He’s thirty-six when he believes he’s going to die. He can’t remember how long he’s been walking. His mouth is so dry, it’s unbearable. It’s so quiet, everything sounds so drab and colorless. He thinks he’s crazy when he hears purple from somewhere. But he’s not going crazy. He hears Rhodey’s purple voice and his name is all he can say, tasting Jarvis’ apple crisp every time. 

He’s forty when he meets Steve Rogers. Steve is a lot. There’s a soft red somewhere in voice, along with a royal blue. Steve says Tony’s name and suddenly everything is a sunshine yellow. He hears him humming under his breath and it’s a lovely purple. Everything about him is so colorful and he _loves_ it. 

He’s forty when Tony’s in love for the first time. Love tastes like, champagne and is a thrilling purple. It scares him, too. So unfamiliar and in a completely new territory he wants to shut it all out and be numb again. But on days like those Tony talks to Steve and he feels like putting the bottle down. 

He’s forty-one when he kisses Steve for the first time and it’s the most thrilling experience of his life. He hears Steve panting and everything is a pretty azure. Pretty like Steve.

He’s forty-one when someone _finally_ understands his synesthesia. He talks for hours to Steve about all the colors. He talks about his mother’s voice. How it was a deep wine red. How Pepper reminds him of her, with them both being strong women with beautiful red voices. How Rhodey is purple and warm. About there teammates. How Natasha’s voice is kiwi green, and her name smells like dandelions. Bruce’s name is soft and fluffy, with a variety of blues. Clint’s neon orange voice. Thor’s voice is what sharpie sound like. He could talk about Steve for hours. He does end up talking for that long. And he doesnt get any comments or weird looks. Steve talks about his synesthesia with an admiration that no one has ever spoken about him before.


End file.
